Liver spots? Check. Bags under the eyes? Check. Sagging mouth? Check. Creepy old lady neck? Check. Looks like Goldie Hawn should be CHECKing in at her plastic surgeon!

Paris & Nikki Hilton and Nicole Richie are seen here posing with Michael Jackson. Weirder still is the old man next to them with the oxygen machine.

Obviously this is a novelty item, because the idea is that someone would walk into your bedroom and think, at first, that you and your heterosexual partner were lying there naked. ...Or it just might be for fat people that don't want to look gross when they're naked. Yeah.

This is some sort of product for the Nintendo DS. And if an old greasy man tries to give it to you from his creepy van, RUN! RUN AWAY!!!!

I know SEVERAL people I could send this to right now…

This is Disco Duck's older brother.

When art is combined with the dirty mind of a 5-year-old, amazing things are created.

I thought she got reconstructive surgery on her spam-stomach? Apparently it still looks like a 55-year-old-sunbather's abdomen.

Who doesn't like Asian girls on roller skates? Bastard people, that's who.

I think those people in the restaurant might be aware of her incontinence problem…

In this photo released by the Glendale Police Department, Nicole Richie's booking mug shot is seen after her arrest early Monday, Dec. 11, 2006, for investigation of driving under the influence of alcohol, in Glendale, Calif. California Highway Patrol officers took the 25-year-old daughter of pop singer Lionel Richie into custody without incident after she failed a field sobriety test, CHP Officer Todd Workman said.

Kirsten Vangsness loves black people. And so do I.

My god, he's gotta have a TON of friends 'cause people would want to call his name out all the time. "Dat Ho! Dat Ho! You dat ho!"

The Japanese are truly the greatest people on Earth!

Judging by the lace on the pocket, I'd say these jeans split 'cause they're 25 frickin' years old.

Apparently some people were offended that "Jackass 2" had "ass" in the title, so they cleaned it up -- and now it's a porno!

Only special people with helmets can conquer The Big Burger.

Black people are different from white people. They also need different hair treatment.

Where is the score card for the old lady in a wheel chair?

When walking on the sidewalk, some white people follow rule #32 in the White Guy Handbook.