Frances Bean is currently going through that awkward teen phase, where should could end up beautiful like her father, or a bloated stripper-turned-celebrity-turned-tragedy like her mother. Only time will tell.

Paris was pulled over on Sunset Blvd Tuesday evening for driving without her headlights. She was also driving on a suspended license – and her car got impounded! Anyone think she looks like an old hag??

This hot, pants-less 18-year-old model recently died of a heart attack. Seriously, all the sexy skinny chicks are croaking!

The "Parass Hilton" buttplug is a must-have for any celeb-obsessed loved one this season!

From "Paris Exposed" – her old boyfriend exposed her ass!

Liver spots? Check. Bags under the eyes? Check. Sagging mouth? Check. Creepy old lady neck? Check. Looks like Goldie Hawn should be CHECKing in at her plastic surgeon!

Paris & Nikki Hilton and Nicole Richie are seen here posing with Michael Jackson. Weirder still is the old man next to them with the oxygen machine.

How dare a celebrity surgically enhance his/her face for the betterment of his/her image!

This is some sort of product for the Nintendo DS. And if an old greasy man tries to give it to you from his creepy van, RUN! RUN AWAY!!!!

This is Disco Duck's older brother.

When art is combined with the dirty mind of a 5-year-old, amazing things are created.

I thought she got reconstructive surgery on her spam-stomach? Apparently it still looks like a 55-year-old-sunbather's abdomen.

Celebrities were once children, too, you know! God they're ugly.

In this photo released by the Glendale Police Department, Nicole Richie's booking mug shot is seen after her arrest early Monday, Dec. 11, 2006, for investigation of driving under the influence of alcohol, in Glendale, Calif. California Highway Patrol officers took the 25-year-old daughter of pop singer Lionel Richie into custody without incident after she failed a field sobriety test, CHP Officer Todd Workman said.

The "George Dubya Tush buttplug fills the void in for the political loved one's on your holiday shopping list!

The "Smell Gibson (Bravefart Edition)" buttplug is sure to thrill, and makes a great Chanukah gift as well!

Judging by the lace on the pocket, I'd say these jeans split 'cause they're 25 frickin' years old.

Photoshopping celebrities is funny!

She may style Lindsay and Nicole, but the drapes she has for a face certainly need to be ironed out!

Sure, they SAY they were filming a movie, but WE know that they were completely nude and loving every second of it!