Here's a gallery of how celebrities have aged over the years. One thing's certain: Death always wins!

Cindy Crawford still has it going on for such an old woman. Sunbathing on a yacht with some friends, she decided to let everything hang out!

When Hooters Air failed, they sold their fleer of planes to an old-people nudist resort. Then some creep took a photo.

Here's Miss Moss looking atrocious, possibly at Glastonbury, wearing hideous Size -2 vinyl pants, Mick Jagger's discarded old black v-neck tee, and some sort of nasty lace shoulder jacket possibly stolen from a Goth linebacker. No wonder she's in love with a junky.

Elwood was named the World's Ugliest Dog 2007! He's a 2-year-old Chinese Crested and Chihuahua mix. I think he's the most adorable, ugly thing ever!

More of Paris' old photos and documents are surfacing... why would she have a photo of her tampon string? Why not?

Perhaps representing the height of celebrity mugshots, Paris proves she's always herself by posing her ass off for the cops. Nice.

Another passionate celebrity kiss from the MTV Movie Awards '07!

Nicole is looking dangerously thin again lately, and I've heard through a celebrity "doctor" that her stomach is bloated from malnutrition! O NOOOO!

Now that she's BACK in rehab with a DUI under her belt, Svedka Vodka has pulled the plug on hosting her party (as in, busloads of free vodka) and the tragic irony of a 20-year-old in a drunk driving accident just weeks before her 21st birthday starts to sink in. Fun!

An 11-year-old shot and killed a massive, half-ton wild hog that was even bigger than the famed 'Hogzilla.' The kid's hunting career started at age five. Nice.

A recent stint at a celebrity volleyball game revealed the Desperate Housewife's chalupa. And there's a mole on it.

She's like a 13-year-old girl who cuts out words and pictures from tampon ads in women's magazines to express her emotions. God she's stupid.

Masha Tyelna is a 17-year-old model from the Ukraine, and is considered to have the largest eyes in the modeling world! I'm scared!!

The *apparently* 15-year-old girl who was fake-raped on stage in Trinidad by rapper Akon has a MySpace page! She claims she's 19 and has slutty photos of herself in the shower. If you ask me, she was asking to be fake-raped.

What would these leading ladies look like bald? We'll show you!

At a mere 49 Melanie Griffith is sagging in all the wrong places (because there are *right* places to sag) and her knees aren't making her look any younger.

Visual gags never get old.

Anand Jon Alexander is currently facing multiple felony counts of rape and sexual assault between October of 2004 and March 5, 2007, involving three alleged victims, the youngest a 15-year-old girl.

I'd be angry too if I looked that old and haggish. Gross.