It's really not too difficult for her to completely distract us.

Now shut up.

Part of us is jealous and we wish this would happen to our foot. It would be a great way to spend the afternoon.

Her butt makes us want to cry happy tears just to know something like it exists in this horrible world.

100% more Annoying or a 100% Fierce? We'd like to punch her in the face either way - in a total non-wife-beat-y sort of way!

Here's Marisa wearing a 3 million dollar bra from Harlequin Fantasy Bra. Tell us: how did her boobs get so rich that they're able to afford such a luxury? I mean, all they do is just sit there and look awesome. Not fair!

Oh, look who got a new pair of boobs! And from the looks of it they fell right out of a gumball machine and onto her chest. Now we know Amy is rich, so why does it look like she has a cheap a boob job as that girl in high school who got addicted to crack, like, ten years later?

Friends. They are awesome. Except when they are a-holes.

We like it when Linday Lohan tries on shoes. And so do you.

Just kidding. We don't know if Lohan does meth, she probably doesn't. But we certainly know she has a meth face, which is the WORST kind of face if you're going to have any face at all.

It doesn't even make sense to hate Clooney these days because you will never topple his ability to score the greatest looking females on the planet. Just accept it and move on. We've been studying Buddhism, dudes. You can stare at Elisabetta Canalis forever if you want to. But for us, it's time to chillax. Later.

We're not going to lie: this totally made us want to run to the bathroom, turn off the lights and hope to God nobody hears us.

We look and look and look at this photo but we have NO idea whether or not she has gut. Are we blind? Or do we just expect our bikini guts these days to be as flat as flat can be? We're picking up a Victoria Secret catalog to find out.

Both of these Battlestar beauties can be found in the latest Maxim magazine, which we guess is still around and trying to make you horny.

Mad Men star Christina Hendricks married someone this weekend. Not this guy though; he's just somebody with a cool mustache. Anyway, this picture should remind you that her new husband is probably the luckiest man alive. So is mustache man for standing next to her.

Uhhhhhhhhh?

You people are crazy.

And if you're nice she might even show you that she's wearing no panties.

Here's an alleged screen shot of the Jimmy Kimmel sex tape. It's okay if you don't believe it exists, because it probably doesn't. We hope it doesn't.

Never was there such a beauty in all the land. Lindsay Lohan, apple of our stinkeye.