Four girls posed for a hot MySpace booty shot. Look closely and you'll see the girl who will shoot them tomorrow after study hall.

Perez Hilton tried to trick the world into thinking Hayden Pe-something was caught by photographers with a vibrator. I suppose he assumed no one would check the internets. Loser.

White water rafting with a cat can be dangerous. And not just because of the claws!

Tara's got the most cock-eyed boobs I've ever seen. Therefore I must gouge out my eyes to see no more.

Sisley's new controversial ad campaign features skinny models with their eyes rolled back, snorting "lines" off a white dress. Apparently spelling "fashion" like "heroin" is also chic, now.

Froot Loops now have straws made of cereal to suck up your leftover milk! No more looking like a slob, drinking from the bowl.

Gamers play all night!

It's no secret that Paris Hilton has extensions – in fact, she's got her own brand!

God hated the muffins you sent him; don’t let it happen again or he'll get your house, too.

The fact that the penis that would fit into that condom would be bigger than both of them has no bearing here. Stupid.

Srsly, enuff is enuff.

Ice Cube's wife Coco has a body that defies all logic. Behold, her white girl badonkadonk!!

Here's Miss Moss looking atrocious, possibly at Glastonbury, wearing hideous Size -2 vinyl pants, Mick Jagger's discarded old black v-neck tee, and some sort of nasty lace shoulder jacket possibly stolen from a Goth linebacker. No wonder she's in love with a junky.

Paris drew a picture for the good folks at TMZ and they almost threw it out because they thought it was from a retarded fan. But then they noticed her spot-on signature, which she no doubt practiced signing for years all over her Trapper Keeper.

AP: Curtis Allgier stole a gun from a corrections officer and shot him to death Monday, when the prisoner was at a doctor's appointment in the University of Utah medical center. He was later captured at an Arby's.

Seriously, Mom, you're getting lazy. How long before you can't wear those white pants any more?

Does someone hear the ice cream man? Yeah, he's over there – run! Hurry, run! Oh– O NOES! HE MELTED!

O Noes! Secks Dunjun found!

O NOES! I'm a gay Mormon pot-head who practices Wicca – I am royally fu©#ed!

Michelle Trachtenberg posed with friends at a Halloween party last year... and DAMN! Now I want to French-kiss Snow White.