Check out the new Jessica Simpson Garbage Fail Kid. Collect all the new Garbage Fail Kids and post them on your blog! Come back for more week after week!

Check out the new Rihanna Garbage Fail Kid. Collect all the new Garbage Fail Kids and post them on your blog! Come back for more week after week!

We're sorry for ever making fun of you, Jessica. We mean it this time. You're not fat. You're not a lardass. You're amazing, and so are your boobs. They are what makes you amazing. Long live Jessica Simpson, long live her boobs.

Here's a couple pictures of Audrina that will hopefully convince you to lose weight and/or get boob implants to prepare yourself for spring break.

No.

The editor of this newspaper has obviously never delivered a pizza to a 40-year-old woman's door and then proceeded to have sex with her.

The Westminster Dog Show is this week. And judging by this photo, it's also a time to for judges to totally abuse the crap out of cute defenseless puppies.

I'm totally going to get myself a pair because I just really like to get down like a freak.

Here's "Saved By The Bell's" Screech, aka Dustin Diamond, posing with his beloved He-Man figures. Once a dork, always a dork.

This is probably not a good way to begin your quest for true love.

...the blood out of you!!! Watch out for her teeth...and her boyfriend from Sum 41. That dude will slap you if you mess with Avril!

He fought for equality and now, video games.

We blew up the picture so you can judge for yourself.

When you reach a certain age, things start falling apart. Jenny, we're going to miss you.

Paris kept her promises and immediately opened a shelter for women when she was released from jail. Here you can see her passing out soup to the needy. What a heart of gold!

Spider-Man on Spider-Man crime is so sad.

How adorable. Tara Reid found a man with a stomach almost as disturbing has hers! Flabbiness 4evah!

This 27-year-old Obama speech writer (left) is in a little trouble for grabbing fake Hillary Clinton's fake boob. We'd understand if he was grabbing Palin's breasteses, cause she's hot, but whatevs. If he likes man-boobs that's his deal.

Laura Harring, aka that hot chick from the movie Mulholland Drive, obviously needs a new stylist for her head.

Here's an image from the Jessica Alba Campari calendar that's coming out. They could sell this thing without the calendar for all we care. Everyday is Alba day to us!