"Don't you like how your skin looks like a fleshy condom over my hard horn, baby? Yeaah, this is Pamplona, baby, don't I make you horny?"

I love the Simpsons Avatar creator, and when I noticed the Dolly Parton hairdo I thought immediately of my favorite train wreck – Amy Winehouse!

It's not a tumah! My belt was just too tight!

I can has BFF.

A nice pearl necklace would really finish this piece off, and me as well. Oh my!

You Damn Kids!

Lindsay and similarly-out-of-it party buddy Vanessa Minnillo are playing bad with knives. Dangerously sexy!

Lindsay and her similarly-out-of-it party buddy are playing bad with knives. Dangerously sexy!

You never forget your first!

You're making Amy Winehouse and Shane McGowan jealous!

White people are always keeping the black man down.

Leave it to Jessica Simpson to make cleavage look sultry yet painful at the same time. I can't take my eyes off her boobs, which is good, 'cause I'm deathly afraid of her orange freak-face.

This little cutie-pie is all alone now that his internet stalker isn't around any more. Won't someone please fill the hole in his adorable heart??

Did someone say "sitcom"?

I once overdosed on sexy. But then John Travolta brought me back by stabbing my chest with a needle. I'm cool now.

I'm sure there's a logical explanation for the reason why bikini-clad Kiki Drunskt is getting her nubs tweaked by her beach buddy. I just don't care.

DUH! I forgot my blow on the bathroom sink! Stupid!

Dude I'm totally having a pink Afghan on my casket when I die!

Seriously, you know you're awesome when you're partying with midgets. My friends had better take note: I want midgets at my birthday party!

Law & Order brings the love on Valentines Day.