Oh really? You stopped taking food stamps? Gawd, this isn't fair! Whose is gonna keep my buns warm now? Huh? HUH!?

"Look, my name may be Brown, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Yeah, you sit over there…"

This is a fun and exciting lamp that you can place on your night stand and read late at night. Now, if only you could read…

Marcus and Julian spent the weekends performing awkwardly gay tricks for the crowds. One day, Julian saw his reflection in a mirror, mid flip, it was all down hill from there.

How many of you are making the "She can prime my Metroid anytime she wants" joke? Yeah, you enjoy that virginity.

This is the health industry's answer to sugary food? Cooking with ass batter? No thanks pooh, that’s one rumbly in my tumbly, we don’t want.

"3 days my ass, you get back here you sneaky devil! Set your Proton Packs to resurrection!"

Someone build these two bastards from the ground up out of legos and lonely Sunday nights. Pretty impressive if you ask us, but you didn’t… so we will shut up.

"I spy something black and yellow quickly moving… towards my.. Wait a minute. DEAR GOD NO!"

"Man kid, your face looks so funny, I bet your mom is ugly as hell. I can hear my eyes blinking and I am friggin hungry. Give me that damned cake!"

"Yeah my lizard is just hanging out, he isn't bothering anyone, so keep on walking."

Tom Cruise and Katie "Robot" Holmes have used the power of Xenu to fast forward time to see what their beautiful baby girl will look like. My eyes… my eyes.

"I love her so much, and I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve." Barf! Nothing says "Take me back." like a tattoo of your ex's titties. Classy man.

"OK so get this officer, I was chasing a burglar out of my house, right? Then my pants just shot off into the street and he pulled out a gun, I got scared and I..."

Compton High's remake of West Side Story, complete with an inter-district theater student exchange. Can you guess who is visiting from Beverly Hills High?

Russia is saying these dolls were imported from China to confuse the sexual identity of Russian's youth. On a side note, all of Russia came out of the closet today.

U seen my peg?

The Beckham's bums are beautiful.

Tara's got the most cock-eyed boobs I've ever seen. Therefore I must gouge out my eyes to see no more.

Sit down on my lap, sweetie, and we'll talk about whatever pops up. Too late!