Perez Hitlon got his ass beat by one of Will.i.Am's (ANNOYING NAME, DUDE!) people at the MuchMusic Awards this past weekend. Later The Mighty Gay One made a video about what happened, which is where this picture came from. It's fun to see this dude cry, right?

Here's a leaked screen shot from one of Britney Spears' music videos. It's censored because her nipples aren't really that big a deal.

If Hilary Duff had boobs she'd be a lot less annoying and we'd probably really dig her music. This totally fake photo makes us dream things. Yeah, we're shallow.

And by "assets", of course, we mean the things that make Susan Sarandon less annoying as an actress, activist and overall human being. Here's a recent photo of her at the SAG awards, along with her daughter Eva Amurii.

Lindsay, we've already seen your crotch. Let's see your boobs! Oh wait, we've already seen those, too.

Mariah Carey married Nick Cannon without a pre-nup, which means he presumably could steal this sweet Teen Choice Awards surfboard and like a bajillion dollars.

His cellmate was heard whispering in his ear, "I'm gonna do to you, what you did to rap music".

The award for Best Supporting Bodyguard in a Paparazzi Photo goes to “guy fondling his walkie-talkie with his eyes closed.”

Lindsay Lohan probably will mimick Marilyn Monroe's life in every way, other than the respected film career, which Lohan has replaced with Razzie award winning film career.

Fergie sang Live and let die at the Music something or other. She spent some of the time flying around the stage playing a rocking version of Quidditch.

This reeks of a badly written stop animation movie. Somewhere Danny Elfman is composing the music for this girls' soundtrack.

Danny Bonaduce Knocked out Johnny Fairplay at the FOX Reality TV awards. No one knows what started the brawl, but it was widely accepted that no one cared.

This one time at band camp, there was like sex everywhere. The G note was doing the A from behind. And the B-flat was blowing C.

Gwen Stefani used to be hard core and she rocked. Now she sings pop music and kidnaps Asians. If you're going to sell out, UPSIZE THE BOOBS!

Former Backstreet Boy Nick, spent the weekend filming for a new music video. From the looks of this video, he had the liquid squirts.

According to sources on the set of her latest music video, Britney Spears was so emotionally distressed that she demanded all the extras leave the stage while she attempted to pole dance. Let us pray that poor pole was heavily disinfected… scratch that - just burn it.

RoboBeyonce was unveiled at the BET awards by Roc-A-Fella Records, to replace the songstress once her ass gets hitched to Jay-Z.

Another passionate celebrity kiss from the MTV Movie Awards '07!

The MTV Movie Awards always prompts some sort of gimmicky hi-jinx. Here's Jessica and Sarah pretending to go all "college-experimental" in front of America.

I'm not really sure who TV actress Megan Fox is, or why she might be famous, but she walked the red carpet at the MTV Movie Awards long enough for photogs to get a good shot of one stupid, nonsensical tattoo. 'Gilded butterflies'? Come on!!