Hugh Hefner's former fake girlfriend Bridget still looks pretty good for being almost 50-years-old. Much love.

Here is the cover model of the 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, Bar Refaeli. I can hear you breathing heavy.

Here's are some of the models in the 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. As you can probably imagine, they are all horrendously hot.

Here's are some of the models in the 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. As you can probably imagine, they are all horrendously hot.

Brazilian model Sheyla Hershey supposedly has the biggest breasts in the world. They're triple KKK, which we didn't even know existed. You think these are hot?

If you don't know who Paul Banks or Helena Christensen are this is just a mildly amusing pic of a dude touching himself next to a topless model, if you do know who they are it will melt you mind!

An eyewitness said the crime was committed by a "British Lingerie Glamour Model Whore" and this was the lineup they gave them. She's not hard to find...

The earlier models used helium causing it to fly away, now it's just useless.

Abigail Clancy was a runner up on UK's Next Top Model although from the face and leopard print panties could swear she was in "Bobby Babes 4".

Could you look any more angry about having a model in your lap in a bikini?

Paris Hilton is modeling for Fila, their first major endorsement since Grant Hill in 1995. She looks as confused as us.

If you have ever wondered what a hideous and washed up super model, full of meth and coke, looked like...

Sisley's new controversial ad campaign features skinny models with their eyes rolled back, snorting "lines" off a white dress. Apparently spelling "fashion" like "heroin" is also chic, now.

I'm not sure who Michele Merkin is, she's some sort of model apparently. What I do know is that she's got a super name. And I love her for that.

Masha Tyelna is a 17-year-old model from the Ukraine, and is considered to have the largest eyes in the modeling world! I'm scared!!

The world's first bitchiest supermodel models her crotch. Gross.

And now for the gals and gays… MALE MODELS IN THEIR UNDIES!

Oh big deal, so Mischa's a pothead! It's not like she's a role model on the OC anymore!!

This hot, pants-less 18-year-old model recently died of a heart attack. Seriously, all the sexy skinny chicks are croaking!

America's Next Top Model is already tops in my pants! Er, I mean book!