After attending a Kennedy Center gala, the White House realized someone had stolen several yards of curtains from the Oval Office.

Decent Photoshop or white trash soup kitchen? Hmm Olive Garden sounds really appetizing all of a sudden.

The only black thing on this cover is the type setting.

… because we can’t let the terrorists win.

Awww dressed up like Snow White, rabies all of a sudden isn't so scary.

Someone left Dina Lohan in the dryer too long and she done shrunked. 3 feet or not, she still plans on furiously ruining her daughters life.

Lindsay Lohan has either been working out in rehab, or hiding coke in her trunk. Skinny drug addict white girls don’t have butts like this. We smell trouble!

Brits will pay $1,500 for a new sport stiletto designed by failed artists at Fisher Price. Designed for the Socialite on the go, this shoe is sure to scream "Special Olympics".

Heidi Montag took the form of a great white shark and nearly swallowed her Hills arch enemy LC. Unfortunately, neither was injured.

White water rafting with a cat can be dangerous. And not just because of the claws!

Sisley's new controversial ad campaign features skinny models with their eyes rolled back, snorting "lines" off a white dress. Apparently spelling "fashion" like "heroin" is also chic, now.

Ice Cube's wife Coco has a body that defies all logic. Behold, her white girl badonkadonk!!

AP: Curtis Allgier stole a gun from a corrections officer and shot him to death Monday, when the prisoner was at a doctor's appointment in the University of Utah medical center. He was later captured at an Arby's.

Seriously, Mom, you're getting lazy. How long before you can't wear those white pants any more?

Michelle Trachtenberg posed with friends at a Halloween party last year... and DAMN! Now I want to French-kiss Snow White.

Britney was caught in a paparazzi mêlée on her way to the gym while she inexplicably sported a white towel wrapped on her face. Why in the world would she be wearing said towel in such a fashion? To pretend she's Santa Claus, that's why, Silly!

White people are always keeping the black man down.

Legally we can't say WHAT that white-ish substance that Nicole appears to be snorting, but I'm calling it out as chaz.

Is that a white residue better known for lining the nostrils of Hollywood's biggest partiers? Or are we just jerks?

It's like magic shoes for the white and rhythmless! Don't leave home without it!