This new poster from the ACLU advocates equality for all people and all relationships. Crazy liberals and their manatee fantasies!

Heidi Montag took the form of a great white shark and nearly swallowed her Hills arch enemy LC. Unfortunately, neither was injured.

These new shoes have GPS tracking systems and are able to call a pimp or a sex worker advocates group, in the event of an emergency… seriously… no joke.

Jenna Jameson no longer creates boners, she is however very boney. She looks like a friggin zombie, so not hot.

Your car breaks down. Do you push it to the side? Do you have sex on the hood? This sign offers no help.

There is so much sex oozing from this image. Don’t stare for too long, you will be overcome by hormones.

White water rafting with a cat can be dangerous. And not just because of the claws!

Sisley's new controversial ad campaign features skinny models with their eyes rolled back, snorting "lines" off a white dress. Apparently spelling "fashion" like "heroin" is also chic, now.

Persian bubble-butt babe and sex tape maker extraordinaire Kim Kardashian takes her ass for a walk in some plushy pants. It's like two fat kittens wrestling down there!

Ice Cube's wife Coco has a body that defies all logic. Behold, her white girl badonkadonk!!

AP: Curtis Allgier stole a gun from a corrections officer and shot him to death Monday, when the prisoner was at a doctor's appointment in the University of Utah medical center. He was later captured at an Arby's.

Seriously, Mom, you're getting lazy. How long before you can't wear those white pants any more?

Michelle Trachtenberg posed with friends at a Halloween party last year... and DAMN! Now I want to French-kiss Snow White.

Britney was caught in a paparazzi mêlée on her way to the gym while she inexplicably sported a white towel wrapped on her face. Why in the world would she be wearing said towel in such a fashion? To pretend she's Santa Claus, that's why, Silly!

White people are always keeping the black man down.

Her creepy dad insisted on being on the set while she filmed a sex scene, and helped "direct" her partner. Ewwwwy!

It's cool; they're in love.

Madonna and hubby Guy Richie like to play dress-up to keep their sex life fresh.

Seriously, what followed next makes Madonna's "SEX" book look like a children's story. Hot.

How can you not love such whimsical people?