They listened to Soundgarden, watched Singles, and talked about how much easier life would be if they lived in Seattle.

Remember when everybody couldn't wait for her and her sister to turn 18? Yeah, that seems like it was a long time ago.

It's called trying too hard, and it's what you're doing.

This man has some sort of genetic trait that mutates HPV, causing huge tree like growths to erupt from his body. Where are Mary and Pippin?

The long, slender bones of grandma's rotting hands really accentuate baby Jane's soft features. Jane can only dream of having hair as nice as grandmas.

Why is he sitting like that? Why is she with this girly guy? She spent the rest of the evening kissing, in public! It’s the Pete Wentz syndrome!

Miss Mary dresses like Mrs. Finch from "Follow that Bird". She looks like she escaped from the mental wing of Shady Pines retirement community. Get a new look granny!

John Travolta is blessed by the power of Xenu. His magical thetans can transform him from "G.I Jane" to "Movie Flop" instantly.

Mary Louise Parker helped promote her show Weeds by posing naked. Hey, whatever it takes, right?

Daniel Radcliffe's recent photoshoot as a leather daddy left Emma Watson's mouth agape! Wow, Harry Potter gets pornier day by day!

...But the latest issue of Jane Magazine has photoshopped them out on their cover image. Very sneaky, Jane Mag.

The Olsen Twins are now one chick, since both of them are basically half a person.

Hermione's all grown up! (I feel dirty).

Jesse Jane was "Best Dressed" on the red carpet at the AVNs. If you think this isn't a big deal, you obviously haven't seen the way most porn stars dress!!

Still-skinny Mary-Kate Olsen looked stunning (as in, we're still stunned by this look) when she walked the red carpet wearing Kelly green, a dead raccoon, and a chestplate.

Finally! Someone got an Olsen twin to eat!

Yes, but how old do you have to be?