This Chinese chick has got some of the freakiest feet around. Maybe they quit foot-binding a little soon, huh?

More Carmen! More burlesque!

If you're going to fall off a 9-story building, at least land like you're in a cartoon.

When you need to air out your crotch, clean off the top of your Red Bull can.

Reese Witherspoon looks fabulous on the Oscars red carpet.

Britney left rehab this morning! One of her dancers apparently picked her up, less than 24 hours after she checked in.

After corrective plastic surgery, Tara's abs are looking less like Sloppy Joe's and more like a stomach.

A surprisingly sober Tara Reid is looking less like a bag o' puke these days. Good for her.

This hot, pants-less 18-year-old model recently died of a heart attack. Seriously, all the sexy skinny chicks are croaking!

Brit-Brit was seen out partying again in New York, this time squeezing into a "sexy" red dress.

Innocent little Nicole on her U of AZ "Cat Card." Charming!

Jesse Jane was "Best Dressed" on the red carpet at the AVNs. If you think this isn't a big deal, you obviously haven't seen the way most porn stars dress!!

Jessica's side boobs are always worth a little uproar.

Puff Daddy was seen checking out Jessica Biel's Golden Globes on the red carpet.

Still-skinny Mary-Kate Olsen looked stunning (as in, we're still stunned by this look) when she walked the red carpet wearing Kelly green, a dead raccoon, and a chestplate.

These little guys REALLY need the Kiss boots.

Getting to second base with this lion is a little trickier, however.

This first thing I thought when I first saw the pink iPod was, "wow, if this could only be used by girls to masturbate." Little did I know.

Sporting events are the perfect opportunity to grab a little piece o' boobage.

For the little kid in all of us.