We're not going to lie: this totally made us want to run to the bathroom, turn off the lights and hope to God nobody hears us.

We'd hit it. DON'T JUDGE US.

How did she not know she was pregnant with a child that large!?!

That large black device placed above her ample bottom is a microphone pack for her new reality show tentatively titled "I'm Slightly More Interesting When I'm In A Bikini".

Seriously, if you think she's hot, go to Denny's, pick up a girl eating a grand slam, dress her up in fancy clothes, and enjoy.

Jewel looks like she has had a boob job, but instead of silicone, the doctor dropped in a large clump of playdoh. Oh well, anything to distract from the teeth.

You know, in the long run these really aren't that big. Sure, they are delicious, but in no way are they worthy of being noted as "ass" sized.

Yes I would like two Mexican pizzas, a large Coke and one Cat Meat Burrito. I prefer them slightly charred with just a hint of fight left in them. I SHALL DEVOUR!

That baby's head is bigger than Kanye and 50 Cent's egos combined!

China's got back! In the world's largest bathroom!

This rare breed of dog has two mutant genes that lead to freakishly large muscle development. This may or may not foreshadow the downfall of humankind.

Masha Tyelna is a 17-year-old model from the Ukraine, and is considered to have the largest eyes in the modeling world! I'm scared!!

Don't be distracted by his large, phallic guitar. There's a REAL "lil' Prince" he wants you to check out.

Jordan was spotted recently in large bikini top and not-so-large bump. Her belly's going to have to really work it if it wants attention away from her boobs!

Jason "Gummi Bear" Davis, larger brother of Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis, attended Paris Hilton's recent birthday bash in Vegas. It appears as though he pissed himself, as well!

I'll pay that for large tits, but what the heck is "chilo"?