For all the right reasons.

Want to hook up with Jesus.

Lady Gaga + Doc Brown = The most amazing hairstyle of all time.

Here's Marisa wearing a 3 million dollar bra from Harlequin Fantasy Bra. Tell us: how did her boobs get so rich that they're able to afford such a luxury? I mean, all they do is just sit there and look awesome. Not fair!

Just kidding. We don't know if Lohan does meth, she probably doesn't. But we certainly know she has a meth face, which is the WORST kind of face if you're going to have any face at all.

Never was there such a beauty in all the land. Lindsay Lohan, apple of our stinkeye.

Here is Kelly, vacationing in LA with her boobs and butt. That's all we need to say because we don't even think you're looking at these words at this point.

Rebecca Gayheart and her boyfriend, Dr. McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy, were o vacation on a boat when she felt the need to inspect his all-beef thermometer. And a little boy was only 5 feet away.

It's the 2001 Britney Spears all over again in 2K9. We feel blessed.

Here's Lindsay Lohan on the set of her new movie Machete. How she's working again we have no idea. All we know is that she sucks at using spray tan.

We kid about Lohan all the time, but never about her sideboob. We always welcome it.

Yeah, Bikini Girl is hottish. She'd be just plain "hot" if we never saw her on American Idol and didn't know she was so stupid.

We all hate PETA because they're just generally horrible and annoying. But if more of them looked like the above, we'd have reason to like them. And then bang them.

Mena Suvari is ripped! Six pack! Abs! Hotness! She has it all.

Today, we're all Michael Jackson. Or we mourn Michael Jackson. Ah, whatever. We're just really, really sad.

She's Brazilian, she's tabloid famous and what you really want to know, her butt measures 46 inches all the way around. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it if that's at all possible given the size constraints.

We don't pay attention to Kourtney Kardashian that much. But that's all changed with these pictures.

Sometimes it just takes a picture to let you know why American is awesome.

If we saw this sign posted in our gym we'd immediately vomit all over the Stair Master.

If they Swine Flu pandemic kills these two it will all be worth it.