Avert your eyes!?! Get sexy with yourself!?! We can't tell what's going on here either.

Wonder whose butt would win in a game of tennis: Kate Hudson's or Anna Kournikova's?

They listened to Soundgarden, watched Singles, and talked about how much easier life would be if they lived in Seattle.

Remember when everybody couldn't wait for her and her sister to turn 18? Yeah, that seems like it was a long time ago.

Kate Hudson is playing a homeless hooker Jedi space alien in her new film, finally a role she can really identify with.

It looks like her "Goldie Hawn years" will be here sooner than we expected. Time to delete Penny Lane from your 70s rock star fantasy.

She is a child of Marx and Coca-Cola...and she looks really hot in knee-high socks.

Kate Hudson may or may not be pregnant but she is definitely showing off her best side on vacation.

It's called trying too hard, and it's what you're doing.

Kate Moss dresses like a pigeon and craps on the street.

Why is he sitting like that? Why is she with this girly guy? She spent the rest of the evening kissing, in public! It’s the Pete Wentz syndrome!

Miss Mary dresses like Mrs. Finch from "Follow that Bird". She looks like she escaped from the mental wing of Shady Pines retirement community. Get a new look granny!

Here's Miss Moss looking atrocious, possibly at Glastonbury, wearing hideous Size -2 vinyl pants, Mick Jagger's discarded old black v-neck tee, and some sort of nasty lace shoulder jacket possibly stolen from a Goth linebacker. No wonder she's in love with a junky.

Actress Kate Beckinsale has some dirty, nasty teeth that she didn't even brush before a red carpet appearance! Get thee to a dentist, woman!

On-lookers said that Kate and Pete Doherty looked "out of it." Yeah, never would have guess that one.

They say having friends that are fatter than you makes you look skinnier. What exactly is Kate Moss's reason?

The Olsen Twins are now one chick, since both of them are basically half a person.

Madame Tussaud's has done it again… Kate Moss is wax-ified!

Exclusive photos of Kate Moss shagger Pete Doherty getting high! Kids, don't try this at home.

Still-skinny Mary-Kate Olsen looked stunning (as in, we're still stunned by this look) when she walked the red carpet wearing Kelly green, a dead raccoon, and a chestplate.