Avert your eyes!?! Get sexy with yourself!?! We can't tell what's going on here either.

Wonder whose butt would win in a game of tennis: Kate Hudson's or Anna Kournikova's?

The extra benefit is no one notices that the meter is expired.

Sarah Palin's legs are so much hotter than Barack Obama's.

We also knew that Hannah Montana was sexuality America with her little song and dance routine. So wrong.

They listened to Soundgarden, watched Singles, and talked about how much easier life would be if they lived in Seattle.

The Pussycat Dolls continue to prove they are more than just a group to objectify while dancing; they are true artists who have pushed PG-13 whoring to levels once thought unreachable.

Remember when everybody couldn't wait for her and her sister to turn 18? Yeah, that seems like it was a long time ago.

Kate Hudson is playing a homeless hooker Jedi space alien in her new film, finally a role she can really identify with.

It looks like her "Goldie Hawn years" will be here sooner than we expected. Time to delete Penny Lane from your 70s rock star fantasy.

Those who remember Allison Stokke will be glad to meet Melanie Adams, who participates in a sport involving poles and is totally okay with being hot. She even intends to profit from it.

She is a child of Marx and Coca-Cola...and she looks really hot in knee-high socks.

Kate Hudson may or may not be pregnant but she is definitely showing off her best side on vacation.

It's called trying too hard, and it's what you're doing.

Kate Moss dresses like a pigeon and craps on the street.

Al Sharpton is somewhere flipping out while David Duke is dancing. RACISM!

Too many cliches dance around this picture. Lets just say, can you imagine if the heads came alive while you were relaxing one day? Its like Return to Oz!

Why is he sitting like that? Why is she with this girly guy? She spent the rest of the evening kissing, in public! It’s the Pete Wentz syndrome!

Miss Mary dresses like Mrs. Finch from "Follow that Bird". She looks like she escaped from the mental wing of Shady Pines retirement community. Get a new look granny!

Further proof that midgets have more talent than merely dressing up as munchkins and dancing around for that damned Judy Garland.