Shortly after this picture was taken, John McCain crapped his pants.

There's a Ross and Rachel joke here somewhere but it's best not to think too much about John Mayer banging Jennifer Aniston.

And that's not even why John Mayer dumped it her, it gets worse apparently.

John Rambo kills everyone and has sex with no one.

Some fat girl tried to eat JLW, while on the way to spend her $50 gift card at Torrid. Run JENNIFER!

John Travolta is blessed by the power of Xenu. His magical thetans can transform him from "G.I Jane" to "Movie Flop" instantly.

Miss Jessica was seen partying like a single gal (John Mayer dumped her!) at PURE nightclub in Vegas recently. When's she selling a blow-up doll of herself?

I once overdosed on sexy. But then John Travolta brought me back by stabbing my chest with a needle. I'm cool now.

Jared Leto got fat for his role as John Lennon's killer. Then he got skinny for his roll as rock music killer. Because he's a douche.

Innocent little Nicole on her U of AZ "Cat Card." Charming!

If you can't say it with a greeting card, say it with a print-out banner outside your dorm.

From two years ago, but still funny today. Lindsay lost her wallet with her license and a credit card while in New York, and some lucky "fans" found it!

Where is the score card for the old lady in a wheel chair?

We'd scream too if we thought John Travolta from Battlefield Earth was holding us.

Okay, how did somebody get a picture of us installing our new graphics card?