Just put a meat bone in her hand and Sarah Jessica Parker looks just as sexy as Dee Snider in Twisted Sister. Here she is on the set of the new Sex & The City 2, during a flashback of sorts to the 80s, when she was uglier.

Justin Timberlake has a nice rack. I bet his ass is pretty awesome, too.

It's good to know that even though she's been out of the limelight, Jessica Simpson still has her boobs. That just lets us know the world doing alright.

Check out the new Jessica Simpson Garbage Fail Kid. Collect all the new Garbage Fail Kids and post them on your blog! Come back for more week after week!

We're sorry for ever making fun of you, Jessica. We mean it this time. You're not fat. You're not a lardass. You're amazing, and so are your boobs. They are what makes you amazing. Long live Jessica Simpson, long live her boobs.

It seems like all the weight just goes to her boobs. And her face. And arms. Ass. Legs. Stomach. Jesus H. Christ, this girl's a hot mess.

Or maybe they're just crazy.

Believe it or not, they're related. Is how Jessica Alba's going to look when she's 50. Hopefully not.

Jessica Simpson has lost about 30 pounds, and has obviously be working out – she's got the calves to prove it!

There's a little sagging and cottage cheese, but does it even matter?

Here's an image from the Jessica Alba Campari calendar that's coming out. They could sell this thing without the calendar for all we care. Everyday is Alba day to us!

Lucky microphone.

Well, she didn't become a fatass after giving birth. But she is wearing a stupid hat.

It looks like Jessica Simpson might have gained some weight now that nobody really cares about her anymore. Unless she's just pregnant, which will make us care about her even less.

We definitely like Alba a lot better these days. Her boobs have that post-pregnancy bounce to them.

Jessica is as happy about her boobs as you are.

Obviously this is a thinly veiled blow job joke, the question is does Jessica realize that?

Ashlee Simpson's pregnancy has created what will be an epic "Boob-off" between Ashlee and Jessica, Master of Incest, Joe Simpson, of course will be the referee.

Jessica Alba posed as Charlie Chaplin for a recent photo shoot because she was told to not because she had any idea whom he was.

Finally she remembered she's Jessica's sister and that boobs are the family's trademark.