And ain't coming back.

Why are they pointing down?

Yeah, this is exactly how da Bears are looking this season, too.

Friends. They are awesome. Except when they are a-holes.

We never knew the Jonas Bros. were such sluts.

Just kidding. We don't know if Lohan does meth, she probably doesn't. But we certainly know she has a meth face, which is the WORST kind of face if you're going to have any face at all.

We're not going to lie: this totally made us want to run to the bathroom, turn off the lights and hope to God nobody hears us.

This kid is going to grow up to be such a baller.

If you're going to show up at the Emmy's pregnant, I guess you might as well show up REALLY pregnant and just freak everybody out.

Usually, Audrina Partridge looks dumb in the face. But not here. She just looks totally hot, and I as I type this message here with one hand, I can't help but notice that I am going to explode soon.

When we want to be a douchebag, we go to a pool party and sit like this, too.

Since this is Courtney Love, we're not even going to bother to ask questions about what's going on here.

Is Paris Hilton ever going to get fat and sloppy? Maybe she's not even human, and will forever stay young and hot and kind of stupid. We hope. Those are amazing traits.

It's going to take a lot more than flowers to get in her pants, buddy. Start with trying to replace your face.

BREAKING NEWS: Lindsay Lohan is going to give birth to a bag of cocaine!

Avert your eyes!?! Get sexy with yourself!?! We can't tell what's going on here either.

Oh look! Our favorite non-celebrity announced she's pregnant on Twitter. Here's what her stomach is going to look like in a couple months, as imagined by our friends at Starcasm.com.

Yeah, we don't know what's going on either.

This is how she's feeding that deformed stomach of hers? That thing needs to call down before it turns into a TOOOOMER.

This is so weird it's beyond description. Go Billy?