If you interrupt Barack during a session of congress he will slice off your hand.

Even though we would never be caught dead reading GQ Magazine (for fear that it will make us start dressing better!). But if they continue to populate that magazine with pictures like this, we'll get a lifetime subscription.

But lay off the clown makeup, girly. Batman isn't out to get you.

I love how the two a-holes below them are posing for a picture. Those are lifetime friends.

Usually, Audrina Partridge looks dumb in the face. But not here. She just looks totally hot, and I as I type this message here with one hand, I can't help but notice that I am going to explode soon.

A review of "Enemy of the State" that is just about the best thing ever.

It's time to get on a workout plan now that summer is over. Wait. Whaaaaa?

After a nice hard day of work, nothing feels better than squeezing your way into a hot tub with another person. This is a lie.

Just put a meat bone in her hand and Sarah Jessica Parker looks just as sexy as Dee Snider in Twisted Sister. Here she is on the set of the new Sex & The City 2, during a flashback of sorts to the 80s, when she was uglier.

When we want to be a douchebag, we go to a pool party and sit like this, too.

Justin Timberlake has a nice rack. I bet his ass is pretty awesome, too.

Thank God for the internet. Thank God for TwitPic. If @kimkardashian didn't love to get almost naked so much these things would just be too boring for us. Here's Kim showing off her body as she gets it ready for a Quick Trim shoot.

She must suck blood or something because those eyes definitely say "I'M NOT HUMAN. THERE IS SOMETHING WEIRD ABOUT ME."

Here is Kelly, vacationing in LA with her boobs and butt. That's all we need to say because we don't even think you're looking at these words at this point.

What is she, like, 55-years-old now? Jennifer Aniston is still banging 35 years after Friends. This is a photo from her appearance this month in Elle Magazine.

Oh, little puppy! Aren't you glad you're not Paris Hilton's? Oh, yes you are! Oh yes you are!

Sometimes the internet just knows the right things to say.

For those of you who need help following this amazing song you loved to listen to back in the day when you were high on cocaine.

Since this is Courtney Love, we're not even going to bother to ask questions about what's going on here.

Rebecca Gayheart and her boyfriend, Dr. McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy, were o vacation on a boat when she felt the need to inspect his all-beef thermometer. And a little boy was only 5 feet away.