Just kidding. We don't know if Lohan does meth, she probably doesn't. But we certainly know she has a meth face, which is the WORST kind of face if you're going to have any face at all.

It doesn't even make sense to hate Clooney these days because you will never topple his ability to score the greatest looking females on the planet. Just accept it and move on. We've been studying Buddhism, dudes. You can stare at Elisabetta Canalis forever if you want to. But for us, it's time to chillax. Later.

We're not going to lie: this totally made us want to run to the bathroom, turn off the lights and hope to God nobody hears us.

We look and look and look at this photo but we have NO idea whether or not she has gut. Are we blind? Or do we just expect our bikini guts these days to be as flat as flat can be? We're picking up a Victoria Secret catalog to find out.

Both of these Battlestar beauties can be found in the latest Maxim magazine, which we guess is still around and trying to make you horny.

Here are photos from January Jones' appearance in the latest GQ, a magazine we would have no interesting in buying if it wasn't for photos like these.

Mad Men star Christina Hendricks married someone this weekend. Not this guy though; he's just somebody with a cool mustache. Anyway, this picture should remind you that her new husband is probably the luckiest man alive. So is mustache man for standing next to her.

This is like the day I found out Santa wasn't real.

Uhhhhhhhhh?

Sure she is hot. But she also dates Brody Jenner. That's why she's a douchebag.

There's something a "little" funny about this picture.

Never was there such a beauty in all the land. Lindsay Lohan, apple of our stinkeye.

If you look really close you can see her penis.

You really have to think before you post. Never forget that, fools.

This kid is going to grow up to be such a baller.

But she wants to spit in your face first.

If you're going to show up at the Emmy's pregnant, I guess you might as well show up REALLY pregnant and just freak everybody out.

Halle Berry denied she was pregnant again on the Jay Leno Show last night, putting to rest the rumors that her boobs were just big because she's having a kid. No, they're just naturally awesome like that.

Guys, don't be ashamed to buy the latest edition of Shape magazine. It's much easier to buy than Hustler.

Yes, she's one of our favorites. And yes, we don't know who that dude is standing next to her but we want to punch him in the face and steal Sophia away.