We don't care that she's a hundred years old or banged Michael Bolton. Nicolette is bangin'.

Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriend (ex-girlfriend!?!) is happy she's hotter than you.

Now here's a geek girl that every geek guy can get behind.

We cannot decide whether Bachlorette Deanna Pappas is hotter than Kim Kardashian.

Elena Dementieva was defeated today at Wimbledon in straight sets by one half of the Muscular Sisters. Thus eliminating all of the hot and our interest in tennis.

Caroline Wozniacki defeated Aleksandra Wozniak Thursday morning at Wimbledon. That extra "I" probably helped propel her to victory.

Maria Sharapova exited the Wimbledon 2008 tournament either for losing in straight sets today or for wearing a weird tuxedo outfit that wasn't revealing enough.

Ashley Harkleroad was defeated in the first round 6-4, 6-3 by some French chick. Hairy armpits should never defeat Grade A American ass, this is will not be tolerated.

Jelena Jankovic won Tuesday in straight sets, 6-3, 6-2. Jelena is the 2 seed in the tournament but she's #1 in our hearts with that skirt.

Ana Ivanovic defeated Rossana De los rios in straight sets 6-1, 6-2. She also looks nice in a sports bra. That's called win, win ladies and gentlemen.

Dating her would probably cost more than keeping a Hummer fueled for the summer, hummers all cost the same, car or otherwise.

Not since the Marx Brothers has someone so eloquently produced satire like what Pete Wentz is doing here with a paper plate, Hot Topic already started producing more plates.

Seriously, if you think she's hot, go to Denny's, pick up a girl eating a grand slam, dress her up in fancy clothes, and enjoy.

Toe or no toe she does not look hot. The only people who would tell a girl this is a good look is another girl or a guy who is about to sex said girl.

From 3rd Rock to blinding Claudia Schiffer in lingerie, Joseph Gordon-Levitt has an awesome agent. He definitely does not deserve this.

Those who remember Allison Stokke will be glad to meet Melanie Adams, who participates in a sport involving poles and is totally okay with being hot. She even intends to profit from it.

She is a child of Marx and Coca-Cola...and she looks really hot in knee-high socks.

2008, ongoing war, crashing economy, no TV, boring election, who cares?? Miss America 2008 looks hot, and thats all we need!!

This is the closest most of you will ever come to sex, enjoy it.

Yeah you wear that Livestrong bracelet and when someone asks you what it means, just mumble something about cancer or the Hot Topic clearance bin.