Want to hook up with Jesus.

It's official, Jordin Sparks has a smokin' bikini body.

Is in dire need of a sandwich.

Shes always been pretty damn hot.

Yeah, we'd definitely think about asking for her hand in marriage or just have sex with her. Whatevs.

Always thought she was hot; this just confirms it.

We look and look and look at this photo but we have NO idea whether or not she has gut. Are we blind? Or do we just expect our bikini guts these days to be as flat as flat can be? We're picking up a Victoria Secret catalog to find out.

Here are photos from January Jones' appearance in the latest GQ, a magazine we would have no interesting in buying if it wasn't for photos like these.

Sure she is hot. But she also dates Brody Jenner. That's why she's a douchebag.

She's still hot with or without clothes.

Usually, Audrina Partridge looks dumb in the face. But not here. She just looks totally hot, and I as I type this message here with one hand, I can't help but notice that I am going to explode soon.

After a nice hard day of work, nothing feels better than squeezing your way into a hot tub with another person. This is a lie.

Thank God for the internet. Thank God for TwitPic. If @kimkardashian didn't love to get almost naked so much these things would just be too boring for us. Here's Kim showing off her body as she gets it ready for a Quick Trim shoot.

She's like those silly cartoons, only sillier. And hotter.

What is she, like, 55-years-old now? Jennifer Aniston is still banging 35 years after Friends. This is a photo from her appearance this month in Elle Magazine.

We have no idea why she's famous other than the fact that when you look at her it's like you're seeing an angel. An angel with a hot ass and really nice boobs.

Yeah, Bikini Girl is hottish. She'd be just plain "hot" if we never saw her on American Idol and didn't know she was so stupid.

We all hate PETA because they're just generally horrible and annoying. But if more of them looked like the above, we'd have reason to like them. And then bang them.

If you're even close to hot you should do what you can to get this costume and bring it to the Harry Potter premiere this week.

Is Paris Hilton ever going to get fat and sloppy? Maybe she's not even human, and will forever stay young and hot and kind of stupid. We hope. Those are amazing traits.