Talk about chubbing up. Lay off the Doritos and pick up the crystal meth!

Is Paris Hilton ever going to get fat and sloppy? Maybe she's not even human, and will forever stay young and hot and kind of stupid. We hope. Those are amazing traits.

Lindsay Lohan almost looks like a little boy. EAT A SANDWICH, GIRL!

These pictures of Audrina Partridge in Cabo seriously make me forget she doesn't have a brain.

We don't understand Drew's style. I mean, she's Hollywood Royalty. And on most days she's really hot. WTF.

This is sexist because it's true.

No, you're not seeing things. Those are a bunch of Princess Leias being hot and awesome and hitting each other with pillows.

You don't have to see this girl's face; it's busted. Instead, look at the ocean...the beach...that dude with the towel on his head. If you like, you can also look at Shauna's boobs.

Normally we're against breast implants. But Bikini Girl's new boobs make her face look a lot less stupid, so we approve!

Kara, why did you hide what's underneath your clothes throughout the whole season? We find you a lot less annoying and totally pointless now.

Just face it: you will never get a girl as hot as Hayden, just continue to be a big fat dork.

Oksana Pochepa is the Russian pop star who's allegedly banging Mel Gibson. We salute you, Mel Gibson. Girls who don't speak English are sexy.

What does Anna Kournikova's tattoo mean? That you can never bang someone as hot as her.

Rihanna's new tattoo is a message to girls EVERYWHERE. What it's saying, we have no idea.

We're not sure what these Rolling Stone magazines photos of a couple Gossip Girls is trying to infer here...they like licking ice cream? Candy? They like things in their mouths!?! What? We totally don't get this.

Oh Katy, you're just forcing us to want you really, really bad.

We like the fact that some girls are just known for having slutty big boobs.

We don't know whether Kanye West's girlfriend, Amber Rose, is bangable or not. What do you think?

If this girl gets any more hot she's gonna blow up -- the world! Hey ohhhhhh!

Here's are some of the models in the 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. As you can probably imagine, they are all horrendously hot.