"I love her so much, and I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve." Barf! Nothing says "Take me back." like a tattoo of your ex's titties. Classy man.

Bush is literally a butt hole, or to be more precise… many butt holes. Check out this pic of the President made of many tiny little stinkers. Did he just wink at me?

"I have such a busy day ahead of me, I have to get these groceries home before they thaw out"

Mr. Artiste could have made me anything in the world and he chooses to make me a bald, naked, fat man.

That baby's head is bigger than Kanye and 50 Cent's egos combined!

Jade Jagger is a baby Rolling Stone and, just like daddy, loves being naked. Question is… who wants to see this?

Paris Hilton has begun her promised change for the better. Here she is holding a baby without dropping it or feeding it Frosted Cocaine Flakes.

'Follow me, everything is alright, I'll be the one to rape you tonight, And if you want to leave, I can guarantee, You won't leave very easily"

Britney Spears has truly hit rock bottom. Chris Angel? You don't need him to make your career vanish, that’s what you're for.

Amy Winehouse's only hit song is now merely ironic. Obvious jokes aside, hopefully she reconsiders that hairdo as well.

Blogger Perez Hilton succeeded in making Britney Spears look sexy and fit by comparison when he paraded hit fat ass around in a pink wig, flip flops, and a Cheetos bag. He even out-crotched her.

He must be hitting the buffets with Schwarzenegger these days.

"Don't you like how your skin looks like a fleshy condom over my hard horn, baby? Yeaah, this is Pamplona, baby, don't I make you horny?"

Now who halps me drag to fud bowl?

Gamers play all night!

Pam Anderson and David Spade were caught playing "slutty Hooters girl and handsy buffalo wings lover" recently, and now I'm totally freaked out. Gross.

Proof of reincarnation! Egads!

The question all women ask: do these pasties make me look fat?

"Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K" is the actual name given to this very lucky newborn. The hospital birth announcement page can be viewed at: http://www.newbabynews.net/hospitals/stf33/public/stf33birthannouncement.pl?babyID=h33-440

He's perfect for Christmas, Hanukkah, birthdays and swinger parties!