Looks like the night is over for her.

Her butt makes us want to cry happy tears just to know something like it exists in this horrible world.

The Sacremento Kings dancers are being "disciplined" for getting drunk and taking sexy pics. And the NBA wonders why no one watches.

You mean he didn't bang Alba? That's the only reason to be happy these days.

Kris Allen looks so happy to be the next Ruben Studdard.

We don't care if this is just an obvious ad for Pepsi. This is a photo of Kim Kardashian and we're required to post every picture of her.

Obama might be gay...at least according to the Globe, who we believe almost 100% of the time when we're really drunk.

This seals the deal. Today Britney Spears performed on Good Morning America and she looked smoking hot. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRITNEY!

Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriend (ex-girlfriend!?!) is happy she's hotter than you.

Not even a stuff bear will make Suri happy about having Tom Cruise as a father.

We're very happy that Lindsay Lohan's gotten her figure back. Remember when she was skinny? Those were dark days.

Here's Andy Dick, shortly after he groped a teenager's breasts in the parking lot the Buffalo Wild Wings restaurant. He's clearly happy with himself.

Jessica is as happy about her boobs as you are.

New from IKEA, The Kim Kardashian Booty Table, place one in the backyard and conveniently rest your drink on the ample derriere.

Look not even Rosie O'Donnell was this happy when she revealed she was a lesbian and you're not a good actress, so what's the deal?

If drinking Dunkin' Donuts and wearing last year's Urban Outfitters fashions make you a terrorist America is in more trouble than we thought.

I'll be able to answer phones, get drunk, start wars, and do all the other things boy presidents do, don't worry about it.

Meet Ashley Youmans, the girl who cost New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer his job and $3000, not quite the happy ending he was hoping for.

They can take the booze out of the drunk but they can't take the fun out of the fun bags.

Sometimes when you're applying the spray on you're drunk and decide the tan line beard look is in.