She must suck blood or something because those eyes definitely say "I'M NOT HUMAN. THERE IS SOMETHING WEIRD ABOUT ME."

We don't know whether Kanye West's girlfriend, Amber Rose, is bangable or not. What do you think?

If there is a God, his plan is really annoying.

Mariah Carey married Nick Cannon without a pre-nup, which means he presumably could steal this sweet Teen Choice Awards surfboard and like a bajillion dollars.

The world's first supermodel, Janice Dickinson, does a quick sniff to make sure her Depends are clean.

Scientists in South Korea have so much free time, they have managed to clone glow in the dark cats. Now they can fight off the flying monkeys from N. Korea.

This poor guy tattooed his wife and kids on his back only to find out she was cheating on him with a younger man. Maybe you can cover with face up with a kick ass rose!

"OK so get this officer, I was chasing a burglar out of my house, right? Then my pants just shot off into the street and he pulled out a gun, I got scared and I..."

Note to self: Next time, don't eat massive bean 'n' cheese burrito before bungee jump. Got it.

AP: Curtis Allgier stole a gun from a corrections officer and shot him to death Monday, when the prisoner was at a doctor's appointment in the University of Utah medical center. He was later captured at an Arby's.

Creed front-douche Scott Stapp got arrested (again) when he came home high and threw an Orangina bottle at his wife. He also owns a lot of guns.

At a mere 49 Melanie Griffith is sagging in all the wrong places (because there are *right* places to sag) and her knees aren't making her look any younger.

Rose hooked up with Robert Rodriguez during filming of Grindhouse. Rodriguez had been married to his wife for 16 years, and has 5 children with her. Sucks to be you, lady!

Calm down, dude. She just wanted an autographed copy of 'Oops! I Did It Again.'

Yep. We see 'em, Rose. This is getting boring.

Rose McGowan showed up at a Oscars afterparty with some weird bandaid under her eye. Girl is looking rough!

This is an infamous store in Maine. Their slogan is, "If we ain't got it, you don't need it." True dat.

Unfortunately for Rose, it looks like some crappy plastic surgery went afoul! She REALLY ain't got nothing on Dita Von Teese!

This diagram is completely scientifical 'n' stuff.

These two were gunned down in a battle over Cool Ranch Doritos earlier this year.