Paris drew a picture for the good folks at TMZ and they almost threw it out because they thought it was from a retarded fan. But then they noticed her spot-on signature, which she no doubt practiced signing for years all over her Trapper Keeper.

Apparently they are too big for their own good! How nice!

Christina Aguilera is still swamped with rumors that she's three months pregnant, but one thing is for sure: she wants to get into acting! She's reading scripts; hopefully they're better than "Glitter," "Crossroads," and "From Justin to Kelly."

"Urhines Kendall Icy Eight Special K" is the actual name given to this very lucky newborn. The hospital birth announcement page can be viewed at: http://www.newbabynews.net/hospitals/stf33/public/stf33birthannouncement.pl?babyID=h33-440

Every celebutard heiress knows that a good pair of panties doubles as a cell phone holder!

Durex has an amazing ability to make simple, to-the-point, yet hilarious ads. We love them. (the condoms, too!)

Paris Hilton's wax figure got outfitted in prison stripes... good thing stripes are in this season!!

I'm not really sure who TV actress Megan Fox is, or why she might be famous, but she walked the red carpet at the MTV Movie Awards long enough for photogs to get a good shot of one stupid, nonsensical tattoo. 'Gilded butterflies'? Come on!!

George Clooney is looking extra gaunt these days, and that gross tan isn't helping him look better or younger. Just say no to Nicole Richie!!

The best part of the boob is the underboob. Thanks for illustrating that for us, Heather.

I made this image and instantly felt better.

Eva Cavalli, sister of designer Roberto Cavalli, was working the runway when she had a fashion disaster! Good thing you were wearing knickers, Eva!

Paris doesn't need a bra for support, when she's got God and the good book on her side!

Lindsay frolicked in the ocean with British boyfriend Calum Best over the weekend, and her nipple tried to escape her bikini. Lucky us.

Leave it to Jessica Simpson to make cleavage look sultry yet painful at the same time. I can't take my eyes off her boobs, which is good, 'cause I'm deathly afraid of her orange freak-face.

Johnny Knoxville is a funny guy. And a good friend.

Britney Spears was caught on film coming out of Millennium Dance Studios, looking better than she has in a long time! Check out those abs!

A German ad company placed this "goatse"-eque ad over a pedestrian tunnel, because you shouldn't have to crawl up your boss' bum for a good job. Eww.

Good for you, Lindsay. Now to just get a hang of the part where you wear your shirt, too. I know, these things are hard.

"The Fox" showed up at her DUI hearing looking as good as she ever has! (And not really that drunk)