For those of you who need help following this amazing song you loved to listen to back in the day when you were high on cocaine.

Since this is Courtney Love, we're not even going to bother to ask questions about what's going on here.

Rebecca Gayheart and her boyfriend, Dr. McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy, were o vacation on a boat when she felt the need to inspect his all-beef thermometer. And a little boy was only 5 feet away.

And her "precious" is a nice heaping pile of cocaine.

It's the 2001 Britney Spears all over again in 2K9. We feel blessed.

Finally, a cure for diabetes!

The fact that you can write a check on her butt doesn't mean you don't fantasize about her reject you.

We have no idea why she's famous other than the fact that when you look at her it's like you're seeing an angel. An angel with a hot ass and really nice boobs.

And by "somewhat okay" we mean AWESOME.

Did K-Fed eat his kids or something? Dude is fat! In his defense though, fat people are considered "healthy" in his hometown of DouchebagVille.

It always happens a couple times a year: for a week straight Tara Reid makes the paparazzi take photos of her in a bikini, and for a week straight we laugh at her stomach.

Swimmer Ricky Berens accidentally split his uniform at the Fina World Championship in Rome. Or he just trying to use the swimming pool as a giant toilet. Who knows?

She has to be around 55-years-old, but Jennifer Connelly is still very much a part of our imagination as we daydream about doing it with movie stars.

A little bit too much Viagra, Mr. Dole?

Is that hair or just part of the bikini we're looking at? Confused.

This is what happens when you shoot your child out of a cannon and onto a Slip N' Slide. Failtastic!

Ass. It's curves he can believe in.

Talk about chubbing up. Lay off the Doritos and pick up the crystal meth!

Tonight, as you're lying in bed thinking of Michael Jackson, don't be alarmed if this baby doll is walking across your ceiling.

Mena Suvari is ripped! Six pack! Abs! Hotness! She has it all.