La Toya Jackson has finally obliterated any last ounce of estrogen in her body, she is now a he beast. Or, Eddie Murphy's latest girlfriend in a desperate attempt to disprove the gay tranny escapade.

Thank god! Finally a place we can take our families without having to deal with all those damned homos! We will never again have to worry about gay men breaking into our houses and having anal sex in front of our children or us.

Why is he sitting like that? Why is she with this girly guy? She spent the rest of the evening kissing, in public! It’s the Pete Wentz syndrome!

Can you find the one future gay man in this photo? We can! Hint, he is the only one not looking at the sweat meats!

Seriously, someone just needs to take this poor girl aside and euthanize her. Was their a shortage of classy dresses in her trailer? Is she trying to turn guys gay? WHY GOD WHY!?

An ex-Hollywood publicist leaked out news that Jake Gyllenhaal is gay and has been with a boyfriend for years. Wait, the guy from Brokeback Mountain? You lie!

A world-renowned gay bar caught fire this week. In typical fashion, the gays used it as en excuse to party and freak out the squares. Tom Cruise had no comment.

Siegfried and Roy dropped a huge truth bomb when they told a German newspaper, they were gay. Seriously? You lie…

Yet another stupid rumor about Britney Spears. Is she gay? Or is it that she just likes getting naked and sucking face with just about everyone?

These two yogis are in some sort of bizarre inter-twined position that seems gayer than Al Reynolds.

Lindsay took the day off from rehab to rollerblade with some gal pals on Venice Beach. Being healthy is sooo fun!

I love rainbows because they're so damn beautiful and gay... but this one is particularly interesting because it's called a "fire rainbow" and is a rare, naturally-occurring atmospheric phenomenon.

O NOES! I'm a gay Mormon pot-head who practices Wicca – I am royally fu©#ed!

GQ goes behind the scenes at the Victoria's Secret fashion show to prove that it's not secretly a gay mag.

This photoshopped picture of American Idols Blake and Chris got the fag-friendly AI fans out there all knotted up – until people started actually LOOKING at it and realized how fake it was.

Here's a question: Was Al Reynolds gay before he married Star? Or did he just turn gay? (See picture)

Here's Ryan Seacrest shopping with a male "friend." Hollywood grocery stores always make people look so gay!

And now for the gals and gays… MALE MODELS IN THEIR UNDIES!

The minty flavor is actually a numbing agent – it makes you lisp!

Finally, we've finished our tropical Jaguar float for the Gay Pride Parade!