Apparently, comparing Michael Bay to Hitler didn't exactly please Steven Spielberg and that's why she isn't in the new movie. As always, I am 100% Team Spielberg.

It's going to take a lot more than flowers to get in her pants, buddy. Start with trying to replace your face.

BREAKING NEWS: Lindsay Lohan is going to give birth to a bag of cocaine!

Megan Fox in a corset. Nothing more, nothing less.

A daughter accidentally text messages her dad with some very awesome news.

We can't even look at Megan Fox without thinking how much she'd vomit if she saw us naked.

Cute puppies make bad news better.

Megan "Angelina Jolie" Fox is looking at you like she wants to rape you. Or so you want to believe.

If you were Megan Fox you'd be all over yourself too.

As Mitch Hedberg would say "it's so damn literal".

Standing next to Fergie and Donatella Versace kind of makes Megan Fox look like a fellow tranny.

Good news! We're no longer biodegradable living organisms.

He's a Scottish cabbie who moonlights as Rambo's sidekick.

Good news! If the art here sucks, you can drink the crap away!

Brian Austin Green had his crotch fondled by Megan Fox. Looks like she had a whole other kind of turkey in her mouth this weekend.

Can you imagine peeing while looking out one of these windows? The good news is you would have a solid excuse for pissing all over everything.

Danny Bonaduce Knocked out Johnny Fairplay at the FOX Reality TV awards. No one knows what started the brawl, but it was widely accepted that no one cared.

An ex-Hollywood publicist leaked out news that Jake Gyllenhaal is gay and has been with a boyfriend for years. Wait, the guy from Brokeback Mountain? You lie!

Good news perverts, Hayden P-Something has turned 18 and is now legal. Bad news, she still thinks you’re a fat loser.

Quato, the talking fetus from Total Recall has FINALLY found new work! Thank God, watch him this fall on Fox, your home for quality entertainment.