Paris kept her promises and immediately opened a shelter for women when she was released from jail. Here you can see her passing out soup to the needy. What a heart of gold!

Open up and say Ahhhhhhhhhh.

The only way to fly.

She's able to trap flies when they swarm above her bikini. It's actually pretty cool.

The earlier models used helium causing it to fly away, now it's just useless.

Realistically this will provide a slightly more sanitary option than her old method of pissing her pants on stage.

Tamira Paszek has sadly been eliminated from the Australian Open although her cleavage remains a winner in all our hearts.

S&M cage with penis opening? I have no idea… I just grab the pictures.

Scientists in South Korea have so much free time, they have managed to clone glow in the dark cats. Now they can fight off the flying monkeys from N. Korea.

Fergie sang Live and let die at the Music something or other. She spent some of the time flying around the stage playing a rocking version of Quidditch.

Woody Allen has finally opened his own school for girls… lucky bastards.

This fish, known as a Great Swallower, bite off a little more than it could chew. Then, in a moment of pure brilliance, his stomach split open and he died.

You think you know sex? You don’t know sex like these two do. Why are you still looking at this picture, you are sick.

Wow, nothing says sexy like a surgary brown tan and thigh muscles so strong, she could crack your head open. Snap into a slim Jim!

Fergie was TOO DRUNK TO FLY the other day when she tried to board a flight to L.A. from London. They wouldn't let her on, and she was falling over. (We presume she was sober enough when she did this Maxim shoot)

The "Brief Safe" can secure your cash, documents, and other small valuables from inquisitive eyes and thieving hands, both at home and when you're traveling. These specially-designed briefs contain a fly-accessed 4" x 10" secret compartment with Velcro® closure and "special markings" on the lower rear portion. Even the most hardened burglar or most curious snoop will "skid" to a screeching halt as soon as they see them — wouldn't you?

When you crack open this piñata, little US Army men fall out! Let's inspect it for WMDs!

Whoops! Mischa forgot to zip up after she whipped it out at a public rest room.

The sign letterer guy thought he was SOOOOO clever.

Reason #23456 that Asians are funny. They allow birds who don't fly on the streets!