But she wants to spit in your face first.

Guys, don't be ashamed to buy the latest edition of Shape magazine. It's much easier to buy than Hustler.

Amy Winehouse, if you're going to flash us, makes sure we're blind first.

And the baby's first words are going to be "Wha Whaaaa!" Hey oh!

Here's a first look at porn star Lisa Ann. She's going to be playing Sarah Palin in the Hustler porno about the VP candidate. Schwing!

The only way to fly.

Scarecrow Wino will frighten crows away from your crops, but she'll introduce your kids to heroin first!

We totally had to run to the bathroom for some alone time after first seeing this photo.

Ashley Harkleroad was defeated in the first round 6-4, 6-3 by some French chick. Hairy armpits should never defeat Grade A American ass, this is will not be tolerated.

Dear Dean McDermott, while most think you're insane for doing this, knowing that your first child has a 10 million dollar trust fund, this was probably a good investment.

Timberlake witnessed Memphis' historic choke first hand, this is probably similar to the choke he had on the SATs when applying to Memphis, lucky the singing panned out.

She's the world's first "special" supermodel, that's for sure.

According to IMDB Uma Thurman has starred in 5 films since Kill Bill but walking around in a bikini seems to be the first noteworthy achievement since Beatrix Kiddo.

Paris Hilton is modeling for Fila, their first major endorsement since Grant Hill in 1995. She looks as confused as us.

The world's first supermodel, Janice Dickinson, does a quick sniff to make sure her Depends are clean.

Candy Flavored sex toys are nothing new, but this is the first time you can stick candy corn up your corn hole.

Praise be to Jebus! This five foot tall Lego recreation of the Crystal Cathedral is the first time that many of us have even seen a church.

Actually this time around we should be calling it re-rehab. HA! Hopefully Promises will help more than Wonderland did!

You never forget your first!

Not the first time, probably not the last.