Just kidding. We don't know if Lohan does meth, she probably doesn't. But we certainly know she has a meth face, which is the WORST kind of face if you're going to have any face at all.

This kid is going to grow up to be such a baller.

This kid is totally luckly.

Halle Berry denied she was pregnant again on the Jay Leno Show last night, putting to rest the rumors that her boobs were just big because she's having a kid. No, they're just naturally awesome like that.

It's not fat, it's awesome.

We kid about Lohan all the time, but never about her sideboob. We always welcome it.

Did K-Fed eat his kids or something? Dude is fat! In his defense though, fat people are considered "healthy" in his hometown of DouchebagVille.

Talk about chubbing up. Lay off the Doritos and pick up the crystal meth!

Just kidding, fatso, she wants to give this guy a massage.

You might have thought that Anna Faris would be perfect for you because she seems like a regular chick and she's funny and seems to be into fat dudes. Well, you're right. Except for the part about being into you...she's into the fat dude pictured above, who she married over the weekend.

Is Paris Hilton ever going to get fat and sloppy? Maybe she's not even human, and will forever stay young and hot and kind of stupid. We hope. Those are amazing traits.

Lay off the cheesburgers, Jason Biggs. Just because you're not working lately doesn't give you a license to eat every studio head that doesn't put you in a movie.

This is Ryan Seacrest as a kid, and as you can see, he still looks really gay.

Just face it: you will never get a girl as hot as Hayden, just continue to be a big fat dork.

We really don't know why strippers are allowed to have kids if they can't match their shoes.

Yes, Anna Kournikova is looking at your love handles and thinking she definitely doesn't want to bang you.

Meat legs. She has them.

Kim Kardashian's is a Garbage Fail Kid! Collect all the new Garbage Fail Kids and post them on your blog!

Chris Brown's is a Garbage Fail Kid! Collect all the new Garbage Fail Kids and post them on your blog!

Check out the new Lindsay Lohan Garbage Fail Kid. Collect all the new Garbage Fail Kids and post them on your blog! Come back for more week after week!