This is a woman who is clearly familiar with double-stick tape. But maybe she needed to air them out?

Looks like the night is over for her.

It's not fat, it's awesome.

Did K-Fed eat his kids or something? Dude is fat! In his defense though, fat people are considered "healthy" in his hometown of DouchebagVille.

Talk about chubbing up. Lay off the Doritos and pick up the crystal meth!

You might have thought that Anna Faris would be perfect for you because she seems like a regular chick and she's funny and seems to be into fat dudes. Well, you're right. Except for the part about being into you...she's into the fat dude pictured above, who she married over the weekend.

Is Paris Hilton ever going to get fat and sloppy? Maybe she's not even human, and will forever stay young and hot and kind of stupid. We hope. Those are amazing traits.

Lay off the cheesburgers, Jason Biggs. Just because you're not working lately doesn't give you a license to eat every studio head that doesn't put you in a movie.

She's Brazilian, she's tabloid famous and what you really want to know, her butt measures 46 inches all the way around. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it if that's at all possible given the size constraints.

Just face it: you will never get a girl as hot as Hayden, just continue to be a big fat dork.

Donald Trump just pardoned Miss California for being a homophobe and appearing nude in photos. We don't care whether she's Satan or Charles Manson, just keep on taking photos like these.

Yes, Anna Kournikova is looking at your love handles and thinking she definitely doesn't want to bang you.

Meat legs. She has them.

This is how classy we are when we pick up chicks.

We're sorry for ever making fun of you, Jessica. We mean it this time. You're not fat. You're not a lardass. You're amazing, and so are your boobs. They are what makes you amazing. Long live Jessica Simpson, long live her boobs.

The editor of this newspaper has obviously never delivered a pizza to a 40-year-old woman's door and then proceeded to have sex with her.

Alert! Alert! Lily Allen is not exactly a fat slob anymore! She just might be bangable again! Alert! Alert!

Who would have known that fat Italian plumber would be a relationship expert?

What a comeback. Now all she needs to do is find her brain and she'll finally be complete.

He's looking as fat as former-fat-Britney everyday!