Mad Men star Christina Hendricks married someone this weekend. Not this guy though; he's just somebody with a cool mustache. Anyway, this picture should remind you that her new husband is probably the luckiest man alive. So is mustache man for standing next to her.

Kanye, just let the man die in peace. Jeez.

It's not fat, it's awesome.

Did K-Fed eat his kids or something? Dude is fat! In his defense though, fat people are considered "healthy" in his hometown of DouchebagVille.

You mean he didn't bang Alba? That's the only reason to be happy these days.

Talk about chubbing up. Lay off the Doritos and pick up the crystal meth!

You might have thought that Anna Faris would be perfect for you because she seems like a regular chick and she's funny and seems to be into fat dudes. Well, you're right. Except for the part about being into you...she's into the fat dude pictured above, who she married over the weekend.

Is Paris Hilton ever going to get fat and sloppy? Maybe she's not even human, and will forever stay young and hot and kind of stupid. We hope. Those are amazing traits.

Lay off the cheesburgers, Jason Biggs. Just because you're not working lately doesn't give you a license to eat every studio head that doesn't put you in a movie.

Just face it: you will never get a girl as hot as Hayden, just continue to be a big fat dork.

Yeah, we don't know what's going on either.

Is Lindsay Lohan attractive anymore? It looks like the skin is melting off her body and she has the ass of an old man. And what's with her Calvin impression? It's just kinda gross.

Yes, Anna Kournikova is looking at your love handles and thinking she definitely doesn't want to bang you.

Meat legs. She has them.

We're sorry for ever making fun of you, Jessica. We mean it this time. You're not fat. You're not a lardass. You're amazing, and so are your boobs. They are what makes you amazing. Long live Jessica Simpson, long live her boobs.

Here's "Saved By The Bell's" Screech, aka Dustin Diamond, posing with his beloved He-Man figures. Once a dork, always a dork.

Alert! Alert! Lily Allen is not exactly a fat slob anymore! She just might be bangable again! Alert! Alert!

Who would have known that fat Italian plumber would be a relationship expert?

What a comeback. Now all she needs to do is find her brain and she'll finally be complete.

He's looking as fat as former-fat-Britney everyday!