Thank god! Finally a place we can take our families without having to deal with all those damned homos! We will never again have to worry about gay men breaking into our houses and having anal sex in front of our children or us.

Why is he sitting like that? Why is she with this girly guy? She spent the rest of the evening kissing, in public! It’s the Pete Wentz syndrome!

Leaving her Hotel room this week, Madonna was spotted walking out with a Sex Toy. Now we know Guy Ritchie can satisfy neither his wife or film critics.

The best part about this image is the fact that all you guys clicked on it, hoping to see big breasts. BUT IT’S A TRANNY, SUCKS TO BE YOU!

Trying to smuggle nuts to Al-Qaeda? Don’t even think about it, or end up like this guy here! And now you know and knowing is half the battle!

Seriously, someone just needs to take this poor girl aside and euthanize her. Was their a shortage of classy dresses in her trailer? Is she trying to turn guys gay? WHY GOD WHY!?

An ex-Hollywood publicist leaked out news that Jake Gyllenhaal is gay and has been with a boyfriend for years. Wait, the guy from Brokeback Mountain? You lie!

For Lindsay Lohan, rehab is a tradition like Thanksgiving dinner with the family . Part of the tradition is going for a bike ride and reminding everyone she has big boobs.

This guy's guardian angel must have been riding shotgun – because he got REALLY lucky!!

Thank God this guy took the time to make his custom rims beautiful. Now that's some fine airbrushing!

This guy is so proud of all the weight he's lost, that he gladly suffocates passers-by with his massive stomach skin. Tuck THAT!

Kanye West and P. Diddy were guests at England's "concert for Diana," where they posed with her son, Prince Harry. Kanye wore douche-bag 80s Pringles sunglasses and Diddy sported the classiest Diana t-shirt he could find in the hamper. Great job, guys.

The Golden Snub-Nosed Monkey is surprisingly cute, despite having a Michael Jackson/Skeletor nose. Lookit the little guy!!

Happy Paris was greeted by the press and her family outside Lynwood Correction Facility at her releasal Monday night.

Sean Preston Federline was driving a Cadillac during a family go-kart outing. Damn, dat boy's PIMP!

Cable guy!

If you lose a limb, you gotta be positive about it. This guy just turned his handless arm into a huge finger! Try to pick your nose with that thing!!

This guy learned to parallel park from Evel Knievel.

This guy has something to do with Pamela Anderson's new movie. Great. All I know is, he's lookin' at the same things I am!!

Johnny Knoxville is a funny guy. And a good friend.