Leave it to Jessica Simpson to make cleavage look sultry yet painful at the same time. I can't take my eyes off her boobs, which is good, 'cause I'm deathly afraid of her orange freak-face.

Jessica Simpson recently crossed the red carpet in Vegas, where she had to wear weighted shoes to prevent her boobs from lifting the rest of her to the ceiling.

Salma Hayek did an ad campaign for Campari spirits. She let her boobies do the talking.

Seriously, we get it, you've got some amazing new bra that you're trying to create a buzz around. Super. Now make yourself useful and become Volvo airbags.

Yeah those things look borderline painful. Let's hope her daddy wasn't around to catch a glimpse at those incest-tempters.

This photoshopped picture of American Idols Blake and Chris got the fag-friendly AI fans out there all knotted up – until people started actually LOOKING at it and realized how fake it was.

Paris has huge boobs now! When exactly did this happen? How does she pull this off? Why can't I stop looking at them??

That's one royal handful you've got there, Willy!

The jury is out for some, but for those of us who've been following the recent growth of the celebutard's lady-pillows, I think she's gotten something done.

It's true. Just wanted to say it.

The Enquirer is claiming the results of Anna Nicole Smith's autopsy were faked and underestimated! Scandal!

Recently actress Penelope Cruz won an award for Best Boobs in Hollywood. Congrats, Penelope. Bravo.

Gotta love the under-boobs. Especially HUGE Keely Hazell under-boob.

Oh, those clever boob-lovers! What will they think up next??

Jordan was spotted recently in large bikini top and not-so-large bump. Her belly's going to have to really work it if it wants attention away from her boobs!

Her melons are looking meatier… did she get 'em done, or is that just a really good bra?

Sounds good to me!!

Paris' fake California ID. Crappy, crappy indeed. Yet better than the Ohio one.

At one time, Paris used a fake Ohio ID. The weirdest part? It lists her eyes as green, even though she has naturally brown eyes and wears blue contacts!

Never one to dissappoint, Paris was just hanging out one day… and she was REALLY hanging out! If you know what I mean! (And I think you do!)