Looks like the night is over for her.

We're not going to lie: this totally made us want to run to the bathroom, turn off the lights and hope to God nobody hears us.

The Sacremento Kings dancers are being "disciplined" for getting drunk and taking sexy pics. And the NBA wonders why no one watches.

We'd hit it. DON'T JUDGE US.

It's good to know that even though she's been out of the limelight, Jessica Simpson still has her boobs. That just lets us know the world doing alright.

We don't care if this is just an obvious ad for Pepsi. This is a photo of Kim Kardashian and we're required to post every picture of her.

Obama might be gay...at least according to the Globe, who we believe almost 100% of the time when we're really drunk.

Check out the new Jessica Simpson Garbage Fail Kid. Collect all the new Garbage Fail Kids and post them on your blog! Come back for more week after week!

We're sorry for ever making fun of you, Jessica. We mean it this time. You're not fat. You're not a lardass. You're amazing, and so are your boobs. They are what makes you amazing. Long live Jessica Simpson, long live her boobs.

It seems like all the weight just goes to her boobs. And her face. And arms. Ass. Legs. Stomach. Jesus H. Christ, this girl's a hot mess.

Jessica Simpson has lost about 30 pounds, and has obviously be working out – she's got the calves to prove it!

Lucky microphone.

It looks like Jessica Simpson might have gained some weight now that nobody really cares about her anymore. Unless she's just pregnant, which will make us care about her even less.

She's passed Angelina Jolie and that Transformers chick as our obvious tattooed love interest.

Jessica is as happy about her boobs as you are.

To say Pete's sister does not look like Ashlee would be like saying Pete Wentz is not a douchebag.

Obviously this is a thinly veiled blow job joke, the question is does Jessica realize that?

Ashlee Simpson's pregnancy has created what will be an epic "Boob-off" between Ashlee and Jessica, Master of Incest, Joe Simpson, of course will be the referee.

New from IKEA, The Kim Kardashian Booty Table, place one in the backyard and conveniently rest your drink on the ample derriere.

If drinking Dunkin' Donuts and wearing last year's Urban Outfitters fashions make you a terrorist America is in more trouble than we thought.