What kind of coach would stick his hands down your shorts during a team picture!? … and where would one go to sign up for such a team?

It's really hard to decide which is more embarrassing. Falling down a flight of stairs in front of millions of TV viewers, or striking a bizarre resemblance to Sloth while doing so.

God, Renee got FAT! Someone needs to take away the plate and show her to a mirror. Or I, Skeletor, will striker her down with the Sword of Greyskull.

He's angry because the artist is making him stare at his ex-wife and her new boyfriend in the gallery.

Your car breaks down. Do you push it to the side? Do you have sex on the hood? This sign offers no help.

Paris went to a Playboy party last night dressed like Paris. Jail time can't keep a good slut down.

Sit down on my lap, sweetie, and we'll talk about whatever pops up. Too late!

Persian bubble-butt babe and sex tape maker extraordinaire Kim Kardashian takes her ass for a walk in some plushy pants. It's like two fat kittens wrestling down there!

Maria Menounos got a Hollywood star or something – I don't remember because she wasn't wearing a bra!

Is too windah ovah heer!

Carmen just loves getting down to her skivvies for her fans!

BRB need 2 write it down

Eva Cavalli, sister of designer Roberto Cavalli, was working the runway when she had a fashion disaster! Good thing you were wearing knickers, Eva!

White people are always keeping the black man down.

Calm down, dude. She just wanted an autographed copy of 'Oops! I Did It Again.'

Dita's hot – and can reportedly get her waist down to 16" in a corset.

Scientists have broken down the facts: Britney is a fug-monster.

Well seriously, does she not care that this guy's pulling down her pants? Weird.

Even dispite her recent image makeover, Tara Reid wants us to know she's still partying 'til she falls down.

I only pay $3.75 to get pounded down the street.