Yeah, Bikini Girl is hottish. She'd be just plain "hot" if we never saw her on American Idol and didn't know she was so stupid.

Sometimes it just takes a picture to let you know why American is awesome.

The extra benefit is no one notices that the meter is expired.

That's some sexy makeup!

Sarah Palin's legs are so much hotter than Barack Obama's.

We also knew that Hannah Montana was sexuality America with her little song and dance routine. So wrong.

Ashley Harkleroad was defeated in the first round 6-4, 6-3 by some French chick. Hairy armpits should never defeat Grade A American ass, this is will not be tolerated.

The Pussycat Dolls continue to prove they are more than just a group to objectify while dancing; they are true artists who have pushed PG-13 whoring to levels once thought unreachable.

Heidi and Spencer embody all of our hopes and dreams.

One year later and Sanjaya is still capturing the hearts and minds of 13 year old, Jewish girls from Long Island.

American Idols should be thin and beautiful, not fat and radish haired. Boo Fantasia, boo.. And I don't mean the term of endearment.

Just what Americans need, more reasons to sit on their ass and watch TV. Who wants cheese waffles!?

Most of the middle east is hot, dull and colorless. What makes you think a terrorist would suddenly jump ship and start decorating things with pretty lights?

Al Sharpton is somewhere flipping out while David Duke is dancing. RACISM!

Too many cliches dance around this picture. Lets just say, can you imagine if the heads came alive while you were relaxing one day? Its like Return to Oz!

Posh Spice has had enough of the American media. She is poised and ready to take over the country and install a government of blue eyed, blond haired zombie wives. Heil Posh!

Further proof that midgets have more talent than merely dressing up as munchkins and dancing around for that damned Judy Garland.

According to sources on the set of her latest music video, Britney Spears was so emotionally distressed that she demanded all the extras leave the stage while she attempted to pole dance. Let us pray that poor pole was heavily disinfected… scratch that - just burn it.

Tom & Katie boogied their butts off at the Beckhams "Welcome to America" party – apparently the chicken dance makes Tom sweat!

Posh Spice stands over an American flag as the Spice Girls reunite.