Part of us is jealous and we wish this would happen to our foot. It would be a great way to spend the afternoon.

Well, that's what we've gathered from this sign at least.

A review of "Enemy of the State" that is just about the best thing ever.

Thank God for the internet. Thank God for TwitPic. If @kimkardashian didn't love to get almost naked so much these things would just be too boring for us. Here's Kim showing off her body as she gets it ready for a Quick Trim shoot.

Sometimes the internet just knows the right things to say.

Is Paris Hilton ever going to get fat and sloppy? Maybe she's not even human, and will forever stay young and hot and kind of stupid. We hope. Those are amazing traits.

No, you're not seeing things. Those are a bunch of Princess Leias being hot and awesome and hitting each other with pillows.

Can one photo contain this much FAIL. The answer is yes.

This is how she's feeding that deformed stomach of hers? That thing needs to call down before it turns into a TOOOOMER.

If Hilary Duff had boobs she'd be a lot less annoying and we'd probably really dig her music. This totally fake photo makes us dream things. Yeah, we're shallow.

These two are so adorable cute! (*wink* x 100 = sarcasm!)

We're not sure what these Rolling Stone magazines photos of a couple Gossip Girls is trying to infer here...they like licking ice cream? Candy? They like things in their mouths!?! What? We totally don't get this.

We're sorry for ever making fun of you, Jessica. We mean it this time. You're not fat. You're not a lardass. You're amazing, and so are your boobs. They are what makes you amazing. Long live Jessica Simpson, long live her boobs.

The Westminster Dog Show is this week. And judging by this photo, it's also a time to for judges to totally abuse the crap out of cute defenseless puppies.

And by "assets", of course, we mean the things that make Susan Sarandon less annoying as an actress, activist and overall human being. Here's a recent photo of her at the SAG awards, along with her daughter Eva Amurii.

This is officially the last Tay Zonday joke ever. We swear!

When you reach a certain age, things start falling apart. Jenny, we're going to miss you.

Here's an image from the Jessica Alba Campari calendar that's coming out. They could sell this thing without the calendar for all we care. Everyday is Alba day to us!

I dare you to say one bad thing about this girl.

If that thing fell into the water there would be a tsunami that would destroy the world.