Looks like the night is over for her.

It's time to get on a workout plan now that summer is over. Wait. Whaaaaa?

It's the 2001 Britney Spears all over again in 2K9. We feel blessed.

You might have thought that Anna Faris would be perfect for you because she seems like a regular chick and she's funny and seems to be into fat dudes. Well, you're right. Except for the part about being into you...she's into the fat dude pictured above, who she married over the weekend.

If we saw this sign posted in our gym we'd immediately vomit all over the Stair Master.

Roll over the picture to find out who's sporting cottage cheese in their ass.

If you were Megan Fox you'd be all over yourself too.

"Oh hi, are you taking a picture of me? Sure is a weird time to take a picture of me, all awkwardly bent over, not smiling and such...oh you can see down my shirt? Wonderful."

The fact that you can even acquire a dress with Bambi's spewing blood all over the place is only slightly less disturbing than actually wearing it, rock on Lily!

The answer to "What are the troops fighting for?" is clearly, "The Freedom of the Over Privileged Upper Class Dimwit Celebrities".

"See guys, a girl! Her name's Sophie Monk and her bangin' body is all mine!...why aren't we touching? oh you missed that, i was hetero-ing all over her inside."

The Pittsburgh Penguins fans enjoyed an "extra period" as the zamboni's transmission leaked all over the ice.

No it's not a comic strip of an alien taking over a body. These are actual cues of who to give your seat up to on the the subway.

No joke, a 10,000 tip was left by the famous comb over himself. Everyone move to Santa Monica and apply at the Buffalo Club.

Hello everyone, this is your captain speaking. If you would take a moment to look out the window to your left, the plane will tip over, thank you.

"Look, my name may be Brown, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. Yeah, you sit over there…"

Can you imagine peeing while looking out one of these windows? The good news is you would have a solid excuse for pissing all over everything.

This is a new form of sexual role play, known as boy torture. It looks like a blond Xena has taken over a small village of Cambodian farmers.

After months of China sending us all their ass backwards products, the US finally retaliated by sending over Paris Hilton, in a free container marked "Penis Enlargement Cream."

Building a bridge over a river bed, because you think you're the man? Well Nature came up and just crap slapped you. Sit your ass down!