Sharon Stone looks like a raven-haired zombie, sucking the blood of small children out of a cleverly disguised coffee cup.

I made this image and instantly felt better.

Britney Spears posed for creepy, child-like topless photos, opting to cover her nips with flowers. Let's hope she took these pics while at Promises!

Rose hooked up with Robert Rodriguez during filming of Grindhouse. Rodriguez had been married to his wife for 16 years, and has 5 children with her. Sucks to be you, lady!

Sacha Baron Cohen's smokin'-hot lady-friend, Isla Fisher, is with child. May the fate of Kazakhstan be saved!!

Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee were seen kissing recently, after spending the day together with their children. Could it be a third chance for the sexy couple?

Salma is with child, and with future husband. Dang, those Frenchies are fertile.

Seriously, what followed next makes Madonna's "SEX" book look like a children's story. Hot.

This was my favorite place to vacation as a child.

Celebrities were once children, too, you know! God they're ugly.

This year, Santa's got a different way of handling the "naughty" children on his list.

I don't know why Jesus say these types of things, but it's beginning to upset the children.

This is not actually puke. It's a child birth that went totally wrong! Woops!