Sharon Stone looks like a raven-haired zombie, sucking the blood of small children out of a cleverly disguised coffee cup.

Maria Menounos got a Hollywood star or something – I don't remember because she wasn't wearing a bra!

This horrified little baby is yet another victim of a knitting-needle wielding Star Wars fan.

I made this image and instantly felt better.

Britney Spears posed for creepy, child-like topless photos, opting to cover her nips with flowers. Let's hope she took these pics while at Promises!

Rose hooked up with Robert Rodriguez during filming of Grindhouse. Rodriguez had been married to his wife for 16 years, and has 5 children with her. Sucks to be you, lady!

Sacha Baron Cohen's smokin'-hot lady-friend, Isla Fisher, is with child. May the fate of Kazakhstan be saved!!

Here's a question: Was Al Reynolds gay before he married Star? Or did he just turn gay? (See picture)

The new issue of Star magazine features celeb nannies and the strongly-denied affair between Carmen Electra and Joan Jett.

Hollywood's Drug Problem. Bad for young jonesing starlets… good for Star Jones!

Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee were seen kissing recently, after spending the day together with their children. Could it be a third chance for the sexy couple?

Salma is with child, and with future husband. Dang, those Frenchies are fertile.

The STAR is claiming Ellen's gal pal Portia is back on the eating disorder wagon, as she started to get suspiciously skinner again!

Seriously, what followed next makes Madonna's "SEX" book look like a children's story. Hot.

Jesse Jane was "Best Dressed" on the red carpet at the AVNs. If you think this isn't a big deal, you obviously haven't seen the way most porn stars dress!!

This was my favorite place to vacation as a child.

Celebrities were once children, too, you know! God they're ugly.

This year, Santa's got a different way of handling the "naughty" children on his list.

The star of the new reality TV series, "Flavor of Legos."

I don't know why Jesus say these types of things, but it's beginning to upset the children.