He wants to be taken seriously as an actor.

According to IMDB Uma Thurman has starred in 5 films since Kill Bill but walking around in a bikini seems to be the first noteworthy achievement since Beatrix Kiddo.

Coca-Cola, stars & stripes bikini, and stripper heels, that is a presidential platform we support!

Tamira Paszek has sadly been eliminated from the Australian Open although her cleavage remains a winner in all our hearts.

Sure it's pretty, but who wants to cut away their skin so they can have pretty scars? This guy does, that’s who.

A Star Wars pit crew works Darth's kick ass race car.

Good god, we have gotten so fat that our children are being born fat asses now. ABORT ABORT!

Hershey wants to remind the young children of the world that, it's only a problem if your fat parents find out.

In America, we have learned to have children without the need to raise them. This board game will further allow us to watch reality while leaving the kids busy!

This is the highest pinnacle of parenting possible. Any of you Nancy boys who "love" and "care" for your child are just a bunch of tools.

"Trust me, this works every time. Usually they continue to cry for a while, but after about 30 seconds they are fast asleep… for a while."

This child's drawing is precious and illustrates the bond between a mother and her young. The only problem is that the picture was drawn by her son.

There is nothing worse than a stinky ass child. Don't let your child's off putting body odor further offend your senses, wrap that little bastard in pine fresh scents.

Thank god! Finally a place we can take our families without having to deal with all those damned homos! We will never again have to worry about gay men breaking into our houses and having anal sex in front of our children or us.

Demi Moore is in her 40's and she still looks 25! She obviously drinks unborn children out of the Cup Of Christ. She has chosen Wisely!

"Ma'm are you aware that your crotch is starring at me? And why do the curtains not match the carpet?"

Ocean waves, salt and magic somehow combined to unleash a massive wave of foam on an Australian beach. Completely unrelated, Hollywood plans new movie, "The Foam".

Fergie looks like the poster child for the Theory of Evolution. Who walks like this and what's with those curlers? Jesus!

Pop star Pink peed in public and a pap popped the pic. Padow!

This is a shot from an upcoming workout video starring Lisa Rinna. The perfect gift for aging cougars who need a boost to their physical self-esteem.