How can you not love such whimsical people?

The "Parass Hilton" buttplug is a must-have for any celeb-obsessed loved one this season!

Brings a whole new meaning to the term "pork."

How dare a celebrity surgically enhance his/her face for the betterment of his/her image!

Jenna Jameson and Paris Hilton are pegged to host a new reality TV series that basically gets virgins laid. It's being made by the same guy that released the Paris Hilton sex tape, so you know it's gonna be classy.

It's called boob tape, Jessica. Look into it.

The kids and their perceptions of sex these days.

Celebrities were once children, too, you know! God they're ugly.

Seriously, they have everthing in Japan. Tell me, what can't you but in a vending machine?

The "George Dubya Tush buttplug fills the void in for the political loved one's on your holiday shopping list!

The "Smell Gibson (Bravefart Edition)" buttplug is sure to thrill, and makes a great Chanukah gift as well!

Photoshopping celebrities is funny!

Even in Japan, it's cool to practice safe sex, kids!!

She may style Lindsay and Nicole, but the drapes she has for a face certainly need to be ironed out!

Sure, they SAY they were filming a movie, but WE know that they were completely nude and loving every second of it!

We always wanted to know what it would look like if Spider Man was gay.

We'd like to believe this was our car. And we'd like to believe that our girlfriend had those boobs. Ah, she's going to break up with us.

How else did you think animal crackers were made?

Ah, now we know who to call when we want some shady sex.

Rummy really knows how to make those reporters pay attention to him. Gayness!