Wino has a drug problem, she cancels tours, and wears pants 3 sizes too small. Someone needs to buy her some new pants, that’s some nasty muffin top.

Rod Stewart's daughter has some fugly butt cheeks. It looks like someone took a baggie full of cottage cheese and milk, and shook it around.

Taken hours before she went off the deep end and shaved her head, Britney poses with some friends and shows us the dark side of the moon. I would be shocked if she managed to take a photo in which she wasn’t naked.

Tom & Katie boogied their butts off at the Beckhams "Welcome to America" party – apparently the chicken dance makes Tom sweat!

The Beckham's bums are beautiful.

China's got back! In the world's largest bathroom!

It's like he's listening to your butt's inner thoughts, and they're saying "more Kosher dills."

Paris wore a diaper over her prison pancake butt in Hawaii. Gross!!

Persian bubble-butt babe and sex tape maker extraordinaire Kim Kardashian takes her ass for a walk in some plushy pants. It's like two fat kittens wrestling down there!

A nice pearl necklace would really finish this piece off, and me as well. Oh my!

Jessica Alba is known for her beautiful beach bum, but did you know her nickname is Sandy Bottoms? True story.

Fergie keeps her ass in shape by shooting meth into it every morning.

Looks like Kim Kardashian's butt ate Jessica Biel's booty. Then got pregnant. ***NOT A PHOTOSHOP!

Slutty, slutty, forgotten Hilton.

The lord works in mysterious ways. Sometimes he works through waves.

Look deep into this dog's butt and see a vision of Jesus. Then puke.

This cute, mini-Lohan flashed her pants to the paps – and they loved it!

I know SEVERAL people I could send this to right now…

There's pretty much no one in the world with a better body than Jessica Biel. I challenge you to find a hotter bod.

Let's just say that if I died and they used Jessica's butt as the pillow in my coffin, I'd already be in heaven.